更にこの事が上乗せされて、
マジつぶれそう。]]>モヤモヤ
http://www.karadakara.com/note/some/record/day/20081014_r5y3.html
Tue, 14 Oct 2008 10:10:40 +0900してます。
自由になりたいし、
でも本当に自由になっていいのかわからない。
一歩踏み出せずにいるけど、
そろそろ潮時じゃないかな・・・なんて思ってしまう。]]>Tue, 14 Oct 2008 10:10:40 +0900
自由になりたいし、
でも本当に自由になっていいのかわからない。
一歩踏み出せずにいるけど、
そろそろ潮時じゃないかな・・・なんて思ってしまう。]]>no matter what they say...
http://www.karadakara.com/note/some/record/day/20081013_r5y3.html
Tue, 14 Oct 2008 01:14:08 +0900no matter what they say, i am what i am.
i worked 8 and a half hours today and learned that i really want to get away from this crazy country. i just don't like the way people value some nonsense stuff.
people love girlie girls just because they think those girls are cute (and possibly weaker than they are).
my co-workers like this girlie worker who is just around 18 years old and has a high pitch.
when i was in the u.s. i learned that girls in the u.s. are strong, self-confident, sexy, and mature. and i learned that uniqueness is one of the most important aspects when people are attracted by someone.
unique people are popular in the u.s.
but people in japan like "normal," usual, ordinary people who dress like everyone else and talk like everyone else.
and i really hated that.
i didn't notice but i think i am more americanized than i thought. but my mind is half japanese and half american.
when i was in the u.s., i sometimes could not stand the way american people behave because that was so selfish and so individualistic.
but now, i cannot stand the way japanese people behave because they hate to express themselves and they are too collectivistic.
i am just a selfish girl who, once in a while, feels like being normal, but at the same time, want to express myself to the fullest and be unique.
i am like a half-done steak which is grilled outside but inside it's raw.
on my way home from work, i murmured how i was disgusted by the talk by those co-workers and seriously, i am sick and tired of those girls and this fuckin japanese culture.
sometimes i am proud of my being japanese but most of the time, i am not.
rather, i am embarrassed and ashamed.
i strongly feel that if i ever have a child, i want to raise him/her outside japan. maybe in the u.s. or some other countries.
]]>Tue, 14 Oct 2008 01:14:08 +0900
i worked 8 and a half hours today and learned that i really want to get away from this crazy country. i just don't like the way people value some nonsense stuff.
people love girlie girls just because they think those girls are cute (and possibly weaker than they are).
my co-workers like this girlie worker who is just around 18 years old and has a high pitch.
when i was in the u.s. i learned that girls in the u.s. are strong, self-confident, sexy, and mature. and i learned that uniqueness is one of the most important aspects when people are attracted by someone.
unique people are popular in the u.s.
but people in japan like "normal," usual, ordinary people who dress like everyone else and talk like everyone else.
and i really hated that.
i didn't notice but i think i am more americanized than i thought. but my mind is half japanese and half american.
when i was in the u.s., i sometimes could not stand the way american people behave because that was so selfish and so individualistic.
but now, i cannot stand the way japanese people behave because they hate to express themselves and they are too collectivistic.
i am just a selfish girl who, once in a while, feels like being normal, but at the same time, want to express myself to the fullest and be unique.
i am like a half-done steak which is grilled outside but inside it's raw.
on my way home from work, i murmured how i was disgusted by the talk by those co-workers and seriously, i am sick and tired of those girls and this fuckin japanese culture.
sometimes i am proud of my being japanese but most of the time, i am not.
rather, i am embarrassed and ashamed.
i strongly feel that if i ever have a child, i want to raise him/her outside japan. maybe in the u.s. or some other countries.
]]>足が痛い
http://www.karadakara.com/note/some/record/day/20081010_r5y3.html
Sat, 11 Oct 2008 00:49:19 +0900ヨガでがんばりすぎたのかわからないけど、
昨日の水泳してる時から左の股関節が痛い。
何で左だけなのかわからないけど、
平泳ぎがしっかりできないくらい痛かった。
早く治ってほしい・・・]]>Sat, 11 Oct 2008 00:49:19 +0900
昨日の水泳してる時から左の股関節が痛い。
何で左だけなのかわからないけど、
平泳ぎがしっかりできないくらい痛かった。
早く治ってほしい・・・]]>勉強＋水泳
http://www.karadakara.com/note/some/record/day/20081009_r5y3.html
Thu, 9 Oct 2008 23:31:19 +0900Last night, finally I started preparing for applying for the CPA exams.
It's already been two months since I came back and I know it's so late to begin the application process... I know...
Now I am waiting for the official transcript to be delivered from my college.
I didn't know that just taking the exams cost this much for the first time in my life.
I've been talking about CPA exams and CPA firms as if I know everything about them but I now realized that I am totally ignorant about those once I really try to get ready for them.
First it costs about $200 to have my transcript checked by this institution.
Second, it costs $200 to just apply for the exams.
Third, each exam costs from around $150 to $200.
Anyways...
I am done with the studying today and tonight I am swimming.
Oh and also, I finally got a really cool scale.
It's Omron's Karadascan and it works well. ]]>Thu, 9 Oct 2008 23:31:19 +0900
It's already been two months since I came back and I know it's so late to begin the application process... I know...
Now I am waiting for the official transcript to be delivered from my college.
I didn't know that just taking the exams cost this much for the first time in my life.
I've been talking about CPA exams and CPA firms as if I know everything about them but I now realized that I am totally ignorant about those once I really try to get ready for them.
First it costs about $200 to have my transcript checked by this institution.
Second, it costs $200 to just apply for the exams.
Third, each exam costs from around $150 to $200.
Anyways...
I am done with the studying today and tonight I am swimming.
Oh and also, I finally got a really cool scale.
It's Omron's Karadascan and it works well. ]]>カキフライ・・・
http://www.karadakara.com/note/some/record/day/20081008_r5y3.html
Wed, 8 Oct 2008 23:06:59 +0900うますぎてやばい。
某とんかつ屋で売ってるカキフライが、
本当においしい・・・涙
あれほど揚げ物はお預けだったのに、
今日ついついつまんでしまいました。
まぁこういう日もあるよね。
明日は勉強と水泳。
がんばります]]>Wed, 8 Oct 2008 23:06:59 +0900
某とんかつ屋で売ってるカキフライが、
本当においしい・・・涙
あれほど揚げ物はお預けだったのに、
今日ついついつまんでしまいました。
まぁこういう日もあるよね。
明日は勉強と水泳。
がんばります]]>Study day
http://www.karadakara.com/note/some/record/day/20081007_r5y3.html
Tue, 7 Oct 2008 22:43:22 +0900Yes, today's a study day.
I worked too much last month so from this month of October, I decided to work only three days a week and study the rest of the days.
Well... recently I am seriously concerned about my English that it's becoming worse and worse. My first language is of course Japanese and I had lived in Japan for 18 years before I left for the U.S. in 2004. Come to think of it, I spent only four years in the U.S. and it's incredibly natural that I tend to forget English once I move back to my own country.
Now I am writing in English like this, but surprisingly, I can't type them well, my fingers don't move like they used to, and that scares me so much.
It seems I have to figure out something before I become so unnatural in English. Ugh!
Oh by the way, the scale that I ordered two days ago is going to be delivered tomorrow and I'm real excited!!!
It will tell us how much fat we have inside our body and it also calculates how much calorie we need a day. Well, basically it calculates everything we need for a diet.
]]>Tue, 7 Oct 2008 22:43:22 +0900
I worked too much last month so from this month of October, I decided to work only three days a week and study the rest of the days.
Well... recently I am seriously concerned about my English that it's becoming worse and worse. My first language is of course Japanese and I had lived in Japan for 18 years before I left for the U.S. in 2004. Come to think of it, I spent only four years in the U.S. and it's incredibly natural that I tend to forget English once I move back to my own country.
Now I am writing in English like this, but surprisingly, I can't type them well, my fingers don't move like they used to, and that scares me so much.
It seems I have to figure out something before I become so unnatural in English. Ugh!
Oh by the way, the scale that I ordered two days ago is going to be delivered tomorrow and I'm real excited!!!
It will tell us how much fat we have inside our body and it also calculates how much calorie we need a day. Well, basically it calculates everything we need for a diet.
]]>うーん・・・可もなく不可もなく
http://www.karadakara.com/note/some/record/day/20081006_r5y3.html
Mon, 6 Oct 2008 22:20:34 +0900バイトで７時間立ちっぱなし、動きっぱなしな一日だったから、
カロリーも結構消費してるんだろうけど、
ちょっと夜食べ過ぎちゃったかも。
反省。
でも相変わらず夜の炭水化物抜きは続けてます。]]>Mon, 6 Oct 2008 22:20:34 +0900
カロリーも結構消費してるんだろうけど、
ちょっと夜食べ過ぎちゃったかも。
反省。
でも相変わらず夜の炭水化物抜きは続けてます。]]>面倒くさい病に、かかってます、最近。
アメリカにいた時は、
かなり忙しい毎日だったけど、何もかも事細かくメモってカロリー計算していたのに、
こっち帰ってきてから何だかかなりたるみました。
心身ともに。
１週間に一度は運動しようと思ってたけど、
それも実行できてないし、
体重計にも乗らなくなってしまった。
OMRONのいい体重計買ったのにもったいない・・
活動できだった自分が、
日本に帰ってきたとたん、死んだ虫みたいになって、
気づいたら今・・・
最近改めて思ったけど、
やっぱり自分は追い詰められて伸びるタイプのようです。
追い詰められて追い詰められて、これでもかってプレッシャーをかけられて、
時間もスケジュール帳が真っ黒になるくらい埋まっていた、そんなアメリカ時代の方が、
色んなことをやっていたと思う。
今は・・・
スケジュール帳も白い部分ばっかりだし、
予定が入るといえば遊びの予定。
あたし、自分を自分で追い詰めることが本当に苦手です。
試験だとかDue dateとかがあたしにとって一番のFactorだったので、
今それが無い分、ダラダラしがちなのかも。
一つがたるむと、ドミノ倒しみたいに他のものまで崩れていくから困る。
どうにかまた体制をたちなおさなくちゃな。
http://www.karadakara.com/note/some/record/day/20081111_r5y3.html
だるい最近ずっとだるい。
生理前だからだと思うけど、
もう１週間以上も遅れてるし、
早くこのダルさから脱出したい。
異常なくらい眠たいし、
もう毎日いっぱい寝てるのにまだ眠たい。
http://www.karadakara.com/note/some/record/day/20081109_r5y3.html
やっぱり・・・戻りたいんだな、アメリカに。
missin everythin about it
http://www.karadakara.com/note/some/record/day/20081029_r5y3.html
no title今日は面接。
緊張するなぁ。
http://www.karadakara.com/note/some/record/day/20081028_r5y3.html
このままじゃダメだ一時はダイエットに燃えたけど、
やっぱりこの環境じゃあなかなか難しい。
アメリカみたいに、
ジョギングしてる人を毎日何度も見かけるような場所じゃないし、
ジムは高いし、
運動する気を失わせるような環境・・・
なんて言ってても仕方ないんだけどね。
結局は自分の責任だから。
とんかつ屋でのバイトもあと１ヶ月くらいだし、
それが終わったらこんなに毎日揚げ物を食べる日もなくなるだろうし・・・
今日１週間ぶりくらいに体重計に乗りました。
最悪だなー自分。
マジで痩せたいのに、
これじゃあ口だけじゃんかー
体重も１キロ増えてたし、
明らかに腹の肉が増えたし、
体年齢も１歳上がった・・・
もう一度、アメリカにいた時みたいにがんばりたいんだけど、
日本のご飯っておいしいからついつい食べてしまう。
意志薄弱だな、あたしって。
http://www.karadakara.com/note/some/record/day/20081023_r5y3.html
All I wantAll I want for my everyday life is money!!! Yes MONEY, M.O.N.E.Y.!
最近、マジで金欠すぎて困る。
バイトやってるから月９万近くは入るけど、
何かとほしいものがあってすぐに出て行ってしまう・・・
しかも・・・
いまだにクレジットカードの感覚がアメリカと日本で違うことに戸惑う。
まぁあたしがアメリカで使ってたのはDebitなんだけども・・・
Debit cardをCredit cardとして使う場合、
遅くても２週間以内に引き抜かれるから、
今のこの１ヶ月・２ヶ月前の請求が今頃来ることにかなり不快感を覚えます。
だってサッパリしないじゃんね。
引き出すならすぐ引き出しておくれ・・・
もうこの際Debit cardつくろうかな。
最近日本の銀行でもDebit card発行してて嬉しい★
昔は雑誌見たり、道を歩く人を観察したりして、
おしゃれを勉強してた。
みんなと同じように流行にのって、
それがかっこいいと思ってたし、
それが普通だと思ってた。
だけど、アメリカって流行がないことが好きだった。
誰かに流されることもなく、
みんな自分のしたい格好して、
それでいて誰に何を言われることもなく。
日本に２年ぶりに帰ってきて思う。
全員、右へならえで、
個性のかけらもないじゃん。
ってことで、
最近久しぶりに今までいっつも読んでたファッション雑誌を買ったわけだけど・・・
やっぱり流行のアイテムしか載せないわな。
つまんないのよ。
この間、一日だけ流行どおりの格好して遊びに行ったけど、
めっちゃ不快だった。
今すぐ脱ぎたい衝動にかられるくらい、
嫌だったなぁ。
あたしじゃないや、って思った。
先週、BEBEのトップにジーンズ、豹柄のベルトで遊びに行った。
こういう格好してる人あんまりいない、
BEBEのトップスを持ってる人もほとんどいない、って思うとめっちゃ嬉しかったし、
あたしらしいな、って自分でも思った。
今日はストレス解消もこめて、
これから買い物に行きます。
が。
流行には乗りません。
今期だけの流行物は買うだけお金の無駄。
だったら、
自分らしくてこの先も使えそうで、
ちょっとしたアクセントになるような服を買おうと思う。
http://www.karadakara.com/note/some/record/day/20081018_r5y3.html
脱出ようやく鬱から抜け出しました。
やっぱりコミュニケーションって大事。
自分の中だけで解決しようとしないで、
モヤモヤしてるならしっかり向き合って話すことが重要なんだな、って思った。
http://www.karadakara.com/note/some/record/day/20081017_r5y3.html
わからない悩み始めて１週間。
気持ちは結構固まってると思ったけど、
やっぱりわからない。
もう日本帰ってきてからずっと鬱だ。
更にこの事が上乗せされて、
マジつぶれそう。
http://www.karadakara.com/note/some/record/day/20081016_r5y3.html
モヤモヤしてます。
自由になりたいし、
でも本当に自由になっていいのかわからない。
一歩踏み出せずにいるけど、
そろそろ潮時じゃないかな・・・なんて思ってしまう。
http://www.karadakara.com/note/some/record/day/20081014_r5y3.html
no matter what they say...no matter what they say, i am what i am.
i worked 8 and a half hours today and learned that i really want to get away from this crazy country. i just don't like the way people value some nonsense stuff.
people love girlie girls just because they think those girls are cute (and possibly weaker than they are).
my co-workers like this girlie worker who is just around 18 years old and has a high pitch.
when i was in the u.s. i learned that girls in the u.s. are strong, self-confident, sexy, and mature. and i learned that uniqueness is one of the most important aspects when people are attracted by someone.
unique people are popular in the u.s.
but people in japan like "normal," usual, ordinary people who dress like everyone else and talk like everyone else.
and i really hated that.
i didn't notice but i think i am more americanized than i thought. but my mind is half japanese and half american.
when i was in the u.s., i sometimes could not stand the way american people behave because that was so selfish and so individualistic.
but now, i cannot stand the way japanese people behave because they hate to express themselves and they are too collectivistic.
i am just a selfish girl who, once in a while, feels like being normal, but at the same time, want to express myself to the fullest and be unique.
i am like a half-done steak which is grilled outside but inside it's raw.
on my way home from work, i murmured how i was disgusted by the talk by those co-workers and seriously, i am sick and tired of those girls and this fuckin japanese culture.
sometimes i am proud of my being japanese but most of the time, i am not.
rather, i am embarrassed and ashamed.
i strongly feel that if i ever have a child, i want to raise him/her outside japan. maybe in the u.s. or some other countries.
http://www.karadakara.com/note/some/record/day/20081013_r5y3.html
足が痛いヨガでがんばりすぎたのかわからないけど、
昨日の水泳してる時から左の股関節が痛い。
何で左だけなのかわからないけど、
平泳ぎがしっかりできないくらい痛かった。
早く治ってほしい・・・
http://www.karadakara.com/note/some/record/day/20081010_r5y3.html
勉強＋水泳Last night, finally I started preparing for applying for the CPA exams.
It's already been two months since I came back and I know it's so late to begin the application process... I know...
Now I am waiting for the official transcript to be delivered from my college.
I didn't know that just taking the exams cost this much for the first time in my life.
I've been talking about CPA exams and CPA firms as if I know everything about them but I now realized that I am totally ignorant about those once I really try to get ready for them.
First it costs about $200 to have my transcript checked by this institution.
Second, it costs $200 to just apply for the exams.
Third, each exam costs from around $150 to $200.
Anyways...
I am done with the studying today and tonight I am swimming.
Oh and also, I finally got a really cool scale.
It's Omron's Karadascan and it works well.
http://www.karadakara.com/note/some/record/day/20081009_r5y3.html
カキフライ・・・うますぎてやばい。
某とんかつ屋で売ってるカキフライが、
本当においしい・・・涙
あれほど揚げ物はお預けだったのに、
今日ついついつまんでしまいました。
まぁこういう日もあるよね。
明日は勉強と水泳。
がんばります
http://www.karadakara.com/note/some/record/day/20081008_r5y3.html
Study dayYes, today's a study day.
I worked too much last month so from this month of October, I decided to work only three days a week and study the rest of the days.
Well... recently I am seriously concerned about my English that it's becoming worse and worse. My first language is of course Japanese and I had lived in Japan for 18 years before I left for the U.S. in 2004. Come to think of it, I spent only four years in the U.S. and it's incredibly natural that I tend to forget English once I move back to my own country.
Now I am writing in English like this, but surprisingly, I can't type them well, my fingers don't move like they used to, and that scares me so much.
It seems I have to figure out something before I become so unnatural in English. Ugh!
Oh by the way, the scale that I ordered two days ago is going to be delivered tomorrow and I'm real excited!!!
It will tell us how much fat we have inside our body and it also calculates how much calorie we need a day. Well, basically it calculates everything we need for a diet.
http://www.karadakara.com/note/some/record/day/20081007_r5y3.html
うーん・・・可もなく不可もなくバイトで７時間立ちっぱなし、動きっぱなしな一日だったから、
カロリーも結構消費してるんだろうけど、
ちょっと夜食べ過ぎちゃったかも。
反省。
でも相変わらず夜の炭水化物抜きは続けてます。
http://www.karadakara.com/note/some/record/day/20081006_r5y3.html